Don't Give Up
by Dreamer From Above
Summary: Love at first sight, it hit Aurora out of no where when she watched Levi return from the 57th expedition. After two years of arguing with mom, she joined military school only to graduate near the bottom. Will Levi always sneer at her or could love possibly bud one day? (Close to borderline M due to vulgar language and adult situations.)
1. Chapter 1-Giving In

I first laid my eyes on him when I was standing in a crowd full of angry townsfolk. My mother stood next to me and she whispered to me about how the Surveillance Corporation failed another expedition. Word spread quickly in the village, and no one was happy about it. Friends and loved ones both alike were lost during this round. It was their 57th expedition, and yet they haven't learned their lesson. Did they not know that no matter how many times they venture outside the walls that it was a death wish?

Death… It consumed this ugly world. Crimson red blood painted the streets of those who've fallen victim to the Titans. Wherever I looked I was reminded of death, but on this particular day when the Survey Corp returned, my eyes opened up and I saw something _beautiful_.

He was walking through the crowd while holding the rein to his horse, a blank stare on his face. His black hair glistened in the sunlight, and there was an air about him that seemed proud or disciplined. His eyes were a clouded grey and there was no emotion that anyone could read. People were relentless with their name calling and tactics, but he ignored it. He held his head high and walked through it all. I couldn't exactly place my finger on it, but whatever it was, I was intrigued by the young man.

Levi Ackerman was his name and I fell in love with him at first sight. He didn't know me, but I knew him and strived to be a soldier that he could be proud of.

…If only I had the talent…

"Fisher! Get up you piece of shit and try it again!" Captain Levi snapped at me once again. For hours he has been sparring with me, to test my skills. It wasn't that long ago I graduated from military training, and it was a miracle I made it through. People like my seniors Jean or Sasha wondered how I made it alive through it all, but I suppose determination went along ways for me.

Shaking, I stood to my feet and resumed my fighting position. My foot stepped back and I held an arm in front of me to protect my face. I could feel Captain Levi's eyes bore into me. Even though his face was unreadable I could tell he was pissed at me. From the look in his eyes he was probably wondering how I made it through training without being sent home.

"Your posture is worse than your form!" He snapped.

I could've sworn I heard a low growl escaped his throat, but my ears could've been wrong.

Levi charged forward and threw a punch at me. It was so fast I didn't have enough time to react before I felt his punch align with my cheek. I stumbled back and fell over onto my butt with a soft thud. Within a fraction of a second I felt pain engulf the whole left side of my face. It took all of my willpower not to cry in front of him and make myself look like a bigger loser.

Once more, I rose to my feet to only be knocked back down again by a punch in the gut. Blood filled my mouth and I coughed it out. I fallen to my knees and held my stomach in pain. Tears threatened to escape, but I held them back. I bit my lip and stared at the ground ashamed. What made me think I could impress Captain Levi in the first place? He was cold, brutal, and sadistic. I was a fool for deciding to leave Wall Rose to be here for a heartless man. If I had the chance to redo it all, would I? I don't know myself.

"Look at you. You're pathetic." He gripped a handful of my hair and pulled my head back to make me look up at him. "You're scum. You're worse than scum. You're the muck that I rake off my boots every day." His eyes sneered at me and his nostrils flared a bit.

I couldn't hold them back any longer. Hot tears started to rush down my cheeks and I closed my eyes.

It was so hard to stay strong, but how can you when the very person you were in love with for the last five years basically called you a failure. When I entered military school I was 18 years old, older than most of the people who were there. But I wanted to do this. I wanted to help save humanity and maybe win Captain Levi's heart. If my father knew of my ill intentions, he wouldn't let me continue my training…

Most people didn't know this, but I was a child born out of wedlock by my mother and Commander Erwin. My father wanted to keep me as a secret as his daughter from everyone because he didn't want anyone to give me special treatment if I decided to go through military school. The only few people who knew I was Commander Erwin's daughter was Commander Pixis and a few other officials. Not even Levi knew, and he was Commander's right hand man.

I sometimes think it's because of my father I graduated from school.

"How the fuck did you graduate at not being the lowest cadet in your class? Wait." His eyes sneered at mine once more, making me tense. "Let me rephrase that: how the hell did you even make it this far alive?" He asked me, looking somewhat interested.

I knew I wasn't the most gifted person out there when it came to fighting, but I was good at how to strategize, but no one ever relied on me since I graduated near the bottom of my class. I thought of myself similar to Armin, but apparently I was nothing like him. If I told him that, he'd probably tsk and call me a liar.

When I didn't reply to his question his gaze hardened. "Not going to answer me, Fisher?"

I averted my gaze from his and stared at the trees in the distance, not daring to open my mouth to speak a word. What could I say? I was drawn a blank.

With a loud grunt of disapproval, Levi released my hair and stood to his feet. "You're dismissed for now, cadet. The next time we spar together I better see improvement or else there will be a punishment." His words hissed and I felt my shoulders hitch up. I was too tense and I felt my head fall forward ashamed.

I listened to his feet shuffle away from me, but I didn't watch him.

For the next fifteen minutes I sat there with my hands limp to the ground and tears ran over my cheeks. What was I thinking? What gave me the idea to come here and be a soldier in the first place? My mother begged me not to join the survey corps because I'll round up dead, and then my father-er-Commander told me not to be a burden. I should've listened to my parents. My mom always knew best when it came to life or death choices. My father, he wasn't exactly right in his mind anymore after many years of watching people die.

I wonder what mom would say if I told her I joined the survey corps for a boy. I'd bet she'll have a shit fit. Putting my life on the line for a man isn't exactly "honorable." I didn't realize this till after I returned from my first expedition outside the walls last week. Many people from class wounded up severely injured or dead. But how did I manage to make out of it without a single scratch?

I guess sheer luck was always with me….


	2. Chapter 2-Down with Breakfast

I hate this… I hate this so freaking much. The embarrassment that I can't be a proper soldier for humanity or for…

I shook my head as I opened my eyes. It was breakfast and I was sitting at a table with a friend I gained during training. Her name was Bekah, short for Rebekah, and she was sitting next to me while her boyfriend Samuel sat across from her. The two of them were chit chatting merrily, forgetting that I was even there.

The couple haven't been together that long. I think they became an "item" about three months ago. They kept giving each other googly eyes and making me sick with their words of confession, but I never complain. I would go sit at another table, but I was limited with the people in my age group I graduated with. Hell, I was still three years older than the 104th training corps, and they stayed in another part of the building. I graduated from the 108th training group, so I needed to count my blessings more often.

Near the corner of the other side of the hall sat all the captains together, conversing amongst one another, except for one. Levi was sitting there, a blank look on his handsome expressionless face that only he could pull off. From where I sat I could see him bring his cup of tea to his lips and sip it and then place it back down on the table.

For as long as I have been a soldier I yearned s_oooo _bad to sit at the captain's table-just so I can be near Levi. It didn't matter if I sat next to him or in front of him as long as I was near him. My original plan was to climb up the military latter and become captain possibly one day, but I know that'll never happen.

A soft sigh passed my lips and I looked at my friend Bekah who was too busy eye macking with her boyfriend.

I don't even want to guess what's going on in their minds….

The door to the mess hall flew open and I lifted my head to see who was coming in this late for breakfast. The bell was about to ring to tell us to leave the hall, but I looked to see…

...My father…

"Commander Erwin!" A soldier yelled with surprise and stood up from his table and saluted, placing his right fist over his heart and his left fist on the middle of his back. Other soldiers soon followed in suite, including myself. The only people who didn't stand in salute were the captains and other higher ups.

Erwin didn't look around the room, his face expressionless like always. My throat felt suddenly felt dry and it grew tight as if I haven't drunk anything in days. I lick my lips and breathed through my nose as I stood in salute. Erwin turned his gaze to me, and my shoulders tensed. I could feel my heart beat faster. It wasn't often my father would come see me-especially in front of all the other soldiers. He always wanted to keep me being his daughter a secret, but I thought it could be hard not tell.

I got my height from my father, standing at about five feet and nine inches tall. My hair color is a beautiful golden blond, and my eyes were an icy blue color. If people looked hard enough, they could see I was almost picture perfect to my dad-except for my facial structure. Mine were a bit more feminine, but I also had his nose.

The Commander of the Survey Corps walked closer to me, and I closed my eyes. I could feel everyone put their eyes on me as the Commander shuffled his feet to halt in front of me.

"Aurora," he spoke, his voice sounding condemning and loud enough for everyone to hear.

I opened an eye and I looked at him. "Sir?" I saw him with his usual firm expression and I opened my other eye, and gulped. "Yes sir." I said once more, except my voice not sounding as strain like the first time.

"Follow me," he said, turning on his heel and going down the walkway to go outside. He stopped and turned his head to look over his shoulder. "You, too, Captain Levi."

My heart clenched. What did my father want both me and Levi for?

I heard the bench creek as Levi stood to his feet. His strode over to where my father and I were standing. He crossed his arms over his chest and paid no mind of attention to me. That was okay though. I couldn't look at him anyway. Not after our sparring session yesterday. I has a bruise on my cheek and under my eye from where he punched me.

"Follow me," Erwin said and he walked forward and out of the mess hall with us following behind.

He led us upstairs to his office, holding the door for us to enter the room. I stepped in first, looking around the tidy room. Being the daughter of the Commander I've been in here a couple of handfuls at a time, mainly to hear my father tell me to be careful during an expedition because he won't turn around to save my "sorry ass" from being eaten by a Titan. My father wasn't exactly the most caring, but I guessed that was his version of caring-by telling me to be careful.

Erwin walked in the office and told Levi to close the door as he went to his desk and sat on his chair. He pulled himself closer to the wooden desk and laced his fingers together. His eyes looked down at the wood and then back up to look at Levi and I. "Take a seat. We might be in here for while." He said.

I felt my throat tighten up and I gulped. I sat on a chair beside Levi in front of Commander's desk. Levi crossed his leg over the other, getting comfortable. "What's this about, Erwin?" He asked with a stern voice.

Erwin turned his attention to me and I felt my shoulders stiffen.

"If you haven't guess, Aurora is my daughter," he started, looking back at Levi.

A slight surprise look came to his face, but he wiped it off as soon as it came. "I haven't," he replied simply without a glance towards my direction. "It's hard to believe that someone as bad as a soldier as she is could be the daughter of a Commander."

I winced. That burned.

"What's the point of us being here, father?" I lifted my head to look at him.

Commander Erwin turned his gaze to me and he looked me directly in the eyes. "We are here to discuss your further assistance with humanity or the possibility of you getting an arranged marriage."

I felt my heart sank and I sucked in my breath.

What's going on here?


	3. Chapter 3-It's a Deal

My throat felt tight as I stared at my father. What did he mean? I didn't understand. Wasn't it enough that I was at least trying to help humanity-even though my intentions were completely unpure. Still, that didn't give him a reason to tell me whether or not I want to be with the military or get married.

"You can't be serious," I finally spoke, my voice quivering slightly. He had to be joking, but I had to remember, my father never jokes.

"But I am, Aurora," he looked at me. "Your mother and I have been discussing this for quite some time." He continued.

I stared at my hands in my lap with disbelief written across my face. How could he do this to me? I didn't want to have an arranged marriage! This was my life, and I could do what I want with it. All I had to do was put my foot down and say no.

"I don't want to," I retorted, lifting my chin up to look at him straight in the eye.

He looked taken aback by my objection, and he opened his mouth to say speak, but I shook my head. There was no way in hell that I was going to let my father take control of my life. The air grew tense, and I could feel Levi's eyes turn to look at me.

"I'm twenty three years old. I am more than capable to speak for myself." I gripped my white trousers, trying to stay calm. I never objected my father with _anything. _"You're my father, but you have no control over what I do, and if I want to go fight for humanity and give my life up, that is _**my **_decision."

The air grew thick and I could feel an electric wave cross between us for a few mere seconds. Erwin looked at his laced fingers and closed his eyes. A heavy sigh escaped his lips and he lifted his gaze back at me.

"You are an adult, Aurora, but you are my daughter and if there's something I think that is best then your words and your so called "freedom" means nothing. Not only that, I am Commander of the Survey Corps. Your future here with this corps is solely up to me whether you continue or not." He looked at me with his cold icy blue eyes-the same as mine except they had no warmth.

I felt my throat tighten again. He had a point. What he said went. I couldn't disrespect the Commander whether he's my father or not.

"And as for the arranged marriage, I can send you off to anyone to marry as I please, and your mother agrees with me. The only way how you can get out of this situation is if you can show your value as a soldier, Aurora." He paused, thinking to himself.

I stayed silent, gritting my teeth together and biting my tongue. If I went off now I could get into deep shit trouble.

"Let's make a deal." Erwin looked at me straight in my eyes with a serious look in his.

I leaned forward in my chair a bit, propping my elbows on my knees, as if we're about to exchange our deepest darkest secrets.

"What is that?" I asked.

"If you can kill three Titans on our next expedition I will drop the subject of you being arranged to marry anyone and I'll keep you as a member of the survey corps."

My eyes widen. Three Titans!? That was close to almost impossible. If I was like Levi, I could kill three within five shots, but I'm not Levi. I'm nowhere near as talented as Levi. Now, give me some credit… I have killed at least two Titans and assisted in eight, but that's nothing compared to a lot of people who I graduated with. Most of the people in my class have killed at least six or ten Titans and assisted in fifteen or more. But not I…

…Again, my luck only went so far…

"That's impossible!" I shouted louder than I meant to. I could feel Levi flinch at how high pitched my voice sounded, but this was ludicrous! Father could _not _be serious, but then again, he was always serious…

I gripped my hands together as father stared me down, and I shook my head.

"And if I die?" I asked, not looking at him as I dropped my head into my hands. It was a stupid question to ask, yes, but I wanted to know—needed to know—if my dad loved me any at all as his daughter. He wasn't exactly what you would call the "loving fatherly" type, but still. It always has been at the back of my mind that he was secretly ashamed of me since I was born out of wedlock.

"You die." He said simply. "I have a thousand of other men I have to be responsible for, Aurora. You're only one in a thousand." His voice sounded steel cold, and his remark hit me in the gut harder than one of Levi's kicks times ten.

I felt tears sting my eyes. No… I can't cry in front of my father or Levi. What little dignity I had left I wanted to keep. I sucked in air sharply through my nose and I lifted my head to look at him, giving him the most serious look I could muster. I breathed out through my mouth and said, "Deal."

Simultaneously, we both stood up to our feet and shook hands. I knew this was probably the most illogical deal to make, but what other choice did I have? My future was on the line and I knew very well what father wants he gets—even if that meant he wanted to arrange me in a marriage.

Levi stared at us passively, not saying a word as he stood to his feet till a few heartbeats later. "Commander, tell me why you needed me to witness this now." Levi looked at Erwin, his eyes cold as usual. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the Commander dead in the eyes.

"I am here to ask you to help better train Aurora for the expedition." He stated simply.

Levi tsked, and without looking at me he replied, "She's a lost cause. You do know this very well. She'll die out there trying"

If I didn't know any better, it seemed like Levi was worried about my wellbeing.

I held my breath, and I looked at Levi. Being six inches taller than Levi, I was able to look at the look on his face from afar. His eyebrows were sewn together, and his eyes were closed. Something was definitely going through his mind.

"And try she will," Erwin replied. "Are you going to help her? Her life is in your hands after all." He pressured, and I could see Levi's shoulders tense and untense.

"If I have no other choice," He replied, grunting lightly and he turned his head to me.

My shoulders tensed at how cold his eyes looked and I pressed my lips together in a thin line.

"Get ready for Camp Hell, brat." He grunted. I could tell that he didn't want to do this just as much as I. My training days these past three years weren't exactly a walk through the park, but the thought of Levi training after getting a taste of what it was like with him wasn't in my list of great first dates.

My throat felt dry, and not being to wasp out a word, I nodded my head in consent.

No amount of training or school could ever prepare me for what Levi brought to me…


	4. Chapter 4-To Hell and Back

"Get up, Aurora! Get up NOW!" Levi yelled at me when I fell to the ground out of breath. Rain pelted to the ground from the dark looming clouds overhead of us. I was tired and my legs felt like putty, and I could feel my body tremble. For days I haven't rested any. Levi would take me out to train at the break of dawn and we wouldn't stop till long gone after the sunset. It was late at night, and I could barely see what was in front of me. Trees of all sorts stood around us, blowing along with the howling wind. It was piss pouring rain and we were still training. Levi said it was because it didn't matter what the weather was like to the Titans. Rain or shine, they were going to eat us. I knew he was right, but I just couldn't face it to him and tell him that I was so tired that my body couldn't budge.

"I said get up, brat!" Levi kicked me in the side and blood spouted out of my mouth.

It took all of my might to roll over and clench my side and crack a sob. My entire side was engulfed in pain, but Levi stood over me with that same passive expression on his face. It has been three weeks since we started training, but it felt like a lifetime with him. Normally I'd be happy to spend a lot of time with him, but at the moment I wished with all of my being he would drop dead.

I tilted my chin up to look at him, my teeth gritting and my eyes sneering. I was aiming all the hurt and pain back right at him, as if I could hurt him with just the look on my face.

Levi knelt down beside me and he grabbed me by the hair. "You hate me right now." The way he said it wasn't a question. It was a statement. And even if it was a question he would be right. I hated his fucking guts right now for the way he has treated me these last few weeks. For the last weeks he didn't treat me as a human, but as a dog whom needed to trained and then punished if it didn't obey him.

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. Go to Hell, Levi.

"You want to hit me. If you want to hit me, do it." His words were cold, and I could feel my fingers curl into a fist. Every microfiber in my body screamed as my arm tensed and I sat up, throwing a punch toward his face. Levi caught my fist in the palm of his hand. He twisted my arm behind my back, turning me around so my back was facing him. He wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me closer to him. My head forcibly leaned against his shoulder, and my gaze turned up to look him in the eyes. His eyes were cold as usual, but mine were colder than ice. It was like a ship hit a glacier and pieces of ice specked all around the rims of my blue eyes. I was _pissed_.

"You can move, Aurora. Get up." He demanded, his voice hissing in my ear.

He let go of me, but I kneeled on my knees, my back still facing to him, and rested my hand on the inner part of my thighs.

"Get up!" He yelled. "Stop taking a shit and get up, Aurora!"

Slowly, but steadily, I rose up to a kneeling-standing position. My hands were still on my thighs, but my fingers gripped my dirtied trousers.

"Good! Now stand up straight, brat!" He snapped.

My arms shook, and I could hear my body scream as I straighten my back up. My bangs covered my eyes, refusing to look at him.

"Look at me." Levi said his voice softer than what it was last time. My heart throbbed, but I ignored it. My feelings can't come into play right now. This wasn't the right moment. Right now I wanted to beat the living daylights out of the shrimp.

I moved my bangs out of my eyes and I looked at him. His figure looked blurry due to the rain, and everything was dark out in these woods. But behind the clouds was a full moon that would peak in between breaks of the rain.

The rain lessoned to a sprinkle. Levi was a mess. His hair was wet, his clothes were soiled and dirtied by the mud, but somehow his face remained spotless.

"Good. Now-…" His words were cut off when I threw a punch in his cheek. His head reeled to the side and I watched him stumble back against a tree.

Watching him fall back and be the one to be embarrassed felt s_oooo _g_oooo_d. My fist hurt like hell from the impact against his cheek, but it was a satisfying throb. I unclenched my hand and walked over to him. I held my hand out for him to take, but he smacked the gesture to the side and stood up on his own.

The rain came to a complete stop and the clouds broke. The full moon over us shinned over the lands that surrounded us, and the wind blew a light, cool breeze. I knew if we didn't get back to HQ I would catch a cold, but at this moment I couldn't care less.

Levi stood up on his feet, and he looked at me. His eyes glinted, and for a moment I thought he seemed proud of my sudden punch to the face, but I was wrong. He lunged forward and kneed me in the gut.

I kneeled down to my knees, and grasped my stomach in the folds of my arms. I bent over and coughed blood once more. A trickle of blood was on each corner of my mouth, but I didn't move to wipe it off. I was in too much pain.

For the longest time I stared at the grass underneath my feet. Droplets of water spotted on the blades of the grass, and I watched a frog leap over my right foot.

Levi bent down and he held his hand out to me.

I stared at it. Was this a trick? I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to find out.

"I'm not going to do anything, brat." He tsked, grabbing my hand that was still clenched to my stomach. He pulled me up to standing, and I stumbled over. Levi caught me by my forearms and steadied me. "Careful. I don't want to drag your ass home." He said.

Heat rose to my cheeks, and I pulled away from his grip. I can't let him figure out my feelings for him. Not now. Not when all this crap was going on in between my dad and me. I turned my back to him.

Levi didn't say anything by my sudden behavior. He tucked his hands in his pockets and spoke, "Oi. Brat."

Hesitantly, I turned to face him and I stared down at him.

"You passed." He said, looking up at me.

I looked confused. "Passed what?"

He tsked. "I'm not going to spell it out for you, brat." He replied. "Let's go back to HQ before either of us catches a cold." He said as he started to walk forward.

I stood confused for a few breaths, but my eyes widen. I passed Camp Hell! After weeks of training I finally passed! And just in a nick of time considering the expedition was in three more days.

As soon as I got back to HQ, I charged up the stairs to the girls' bathroom to shower, making sure to stop by my room to get some clean clothes and a towel. I left my towel by the shower stall and my clothes on a counter by the sink. I peeled off the wet clothes from my body and I turned the facet on. Water came down from the showerhead and I felt it with my hand to see how hot it was before stepping inside. I tilted my head back, and let the hot water run over my body. The muscles in body were aching, but started to relax as the water ran over me.

Thoughts ran through my mind, all of them racing.

The past three weeks have been hell and I am more than thankful for it to be over. But one particular thought stopped all the others.

As always, I thought of him. Levi. The feelings I held for him grew stronger the more as time passed. Just a few minutes ago I was cussing at him and thinking about how I wanted him to drop dead, but that was only because of what was going on at the time. My feelings never wavered, and I don't think they ever would.

I love him. I love Levi. Everything about him I loved. His brutal remarks, sadistic behavior, and his obsessive compulsion of wanting to keep everything spotless; I loved it. The way he talked, the way he walked, even the way his eyes glint whenever he saw something remarkable—I loved it. I love him. I love him with all my heart, and if something was to happen at the expedition, I don't know what I would do…

What was I going to do if I failed at this next expedition? If I failed then the dream of ever being with Levi would tumble down to the ground like a house of cards. And that thought alone broke my heart.

I shook my head.

No. I can't think of that right now. I need to think of positive, happy thoughts.

_I will make this next expedition a success one way or another. _I thought to myself as I washed off my body with a bar of soap and then proceeded to clean my hair. It didn't surprise me one bit to see twigs and leaves fall from my blond locks and pile around the drain.

_I'll clean that up after I get dressed… _

Once I felt all squeaky clean I stopped the water and stepped out of the shower. I grabbed my towel and dried myself off thoroughly before I slipped on my nightgown. Quickly, I picked up the residue that was around the rim of the facet before going to my room. I towel dry my hair as quick as I could before I laid my head on my pillow, passing out as soon as my head hit it.


	5. Chapter 5-Bottoms Down

The next day Levi and I didn't meet to train for the expedition. I was somewhat disappointed because I wanted to ask him how I passed Camp Hell, but he walked away before I could ask. It was getting late into the afternoon, and Bekah and I were hanging out. It was the first time we got to hang out in the last few weeks without me being too busy with camp or her playing around with her boyfriend. She said she wanted to make today just for us, and that was what we did. We hanged out at our favorite swimming hole next to a tree a big tree. Normally we would go swimming if we were here, but spring was just around the corner. The air was still too nippy for a dip in the hole.

"Achoo!" I sneezed really loud and Bekah turned her head to look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"You're not getting sick, are you?" She asked.

I gave her a small nervous smile. "I hope not." After training in the rain last night it was a wonder how I didn't woke up deathly ill. A cold, I can handle just fine. An illness; not so much.

She shrugged her shoulders and looked at the setting sun. "Do you want to go out drinking tonight?" She asked.

I reeled my head to look at her, my eyes a bit wide. It was very rare we got to go out and drink. The last time we went out was right before the 62nd expedition, and that was a half year ago.

I shrugged. Why the hell not? The expedition wasn't for another two days. If I woke up with a hangover tomorrow I'll recover before the expedition.

"Great." She said, getting up and dusting the dirt off from her trousers.

I stood with her, and dusted what dirt was smudged off of my own trousers.

At the local bar there was already a group of people from the Survey Corps to no surprise. It was popular among the troops to go out for a drink two days before an expedition considering they don't know if they'll return or not. But what surprised me was that Levi was there, sitting next to Hanji at a round table. He had one leg crossed over the other, and he tilted his head back, drinking the liquor that was in the shot glass.

His face grimaced ever so slightly from the taste of the liquor, but it was quickly wiped off before anyone could notice. It shocked me to see that Levi was the drinking type, but I guessed I shouldn't be _that _shocked. He was an adult like everyone else in the bar. Obviously he liked to have a drink or two before an expedition.

"Oi! Heichou!" Bekah sat next to Hanji.

Levi tsked. "What is it, Nyle?"

Bekah gave him a loose smile. "I didn't know you liked to drink." She said.

Levi stared at her blankly while Hanji started to laugh.

"Of course Levi likes to drink! We all have to let loose every once in a while." Hanji stated, giving Bekah a huge grin. "Even the great Corporal Levi needs to relax." She threw an arm over his shoulder.

By the way her face looked and the red blush across the bridge of her nose she was already drunk, signaling that she and Levi have been her for some time.

"Well, why are you standing? Sit!" Hanji chirped.

The only seat left available was the one next to Levi. I gnawed on the inside of my cheek.

Levi tsked, and he grabbed me by the wrist, forcing me to sit down on the chair. "Relax, brat." He gave me a look. He picked up the shot glass that was next to his already empty one. "This is why you're here." He slid a separate shot glass to me and I caught it in my hand.

I picked up the shot glass and stared at it. "What is it?" I asked him.

Don't get me wrong, I like to drink whenever I can, but I was a total woos when it came to hard liquor. Plus, I'm a light weight drinker… I get drunk after two shots.

"Does it matter?" Levi lifted his grey eye gaze to me, and I felt my heart swell. How could he still look so cool when he was tipsy?

I shook my head, and Levi signaled me to drink.

"I'll drink with you." He said.

A small smile came to my lips, and I nodded my head. He was slightly out of character than from normal, but I guess that was what liquor did to you. After so many the person you knew yourself as disappeared along with the liquor.

I tilted my head back at the same time he did and at once we drank the hot, stinging liquor.

It stung my throat as it went down my esophagus, and when it reached my belly I could feel it burn. My face twisted and I shook my head. It was nasty, but I wasn't planning to stop there.

Levi looked at me, his face not grimacing this time. I could tell by the look on his face he couldn't taste the bitter liquor. I wish I couldn't, but I'll get there after my next shot.

"Come on, Aurora! Bottoms up!" Bekah tilted her head back and drank the bitter liquor. She was already drunk as fuck, but I didn't say anything. Too many thoughts were going through my mind. In two days the expedition will come and I can only hope that the training I received from Camp Hell benefited me any. After all the blood, sweat, and tears I shed because of Levi's constant abuse I'm sure I learned _something_.

I turned my head to see Levi, drinking his third shot of liquor since I arrived at the bar. I could tell he was tipsy, on the borderline of being drunk by the way his cheeks were colored a slight pink. His eyes had a glaze over look in them and I caught myself staring at him too long.

"What, brat?" He turned his glazed over gaze to me, indicating he had more than his fair share amount of drinks. It amazed me how his voice retained its smooth, rough sound. If it wasn't for the tint of pink over the bridge of his nose and his glazed eyes I wouldn't be able to tell he was getting drunk.

"Nothing," I turned my head, held the shot glass to my lips, and tilted my head back to feel the hot liquor go down my throat smoothly. At this point I couldn't taste the hard substance of the vodka. I noted to myself to slow down with my drinking or else I'll end up sick.

Other thoughts reeled through my mind. Bekah's boyfriend Samuel joined us not too long ago. He pulled a chair from the neighboring table and sat next to Bekah. He wasn't drunk either, but I could tell by the lopsided grin on his face he was close to getting there.

I ignored it all.

What if I couldn't kill three Titans? If I didn't then I could never tell Levi the feelings that I had been harboring in me for the last five years. Well, I could, but what would be the point in it? It wasn't like I expected him to return them or anything. I was completely content with being near him, fighting next to him. Nothing made me happier then to be near him. How could I be selfish and ask for more? He was humanity's strongest, while I on the other hand was humanity's weakest. I was worse than Armin if that said anything… Yes, I was good at strategizing when it came to life or death situations, but that was it.

A memory from my training days came to my mind and I thought about the time when the trainees were sent to the mountains in pairs of two to survive on our own for five days. Bekah was my partner at that time.

"Hey," my voice rasped, and I turned my head to look at Bekah.

The young brunette looked at me with her brown eyes, an inquiry look on her face. Her cheeks were flushed pink, and I knew she was drunk. "What?" She asked.

I smiled and I leaned my forehead against her shoulder. "R-Remember the survivals test in the mountains?" I asked her, hoping my words weren't slurring.

I could feel Levi's attention turn to us, ignoring whatever Hanji was talking about to him. She also turned her attention to us.

"Yeah. What about it?" She asked, looking down at me, her lips tugging a small smile.

I shrugged. I don't know why, but it was that time when Bekah and I became friends. Who knew near life/death experiences could build a friendship so quickly?

Bekah laughed softly and she hugged her friend, the two girls hugging each other lazily. My arms were looped around her neck and her arms around my waist. I had my nose buried in the crook of her neck and I inhaled her lavender scent.

I loved that scent. She used it in all of her soaps. She even made it herself. Whenever she made a new batch of the sweet scent I would beg her to give me a bottle or two. She would smile at me and pull out two bottles for me and say, "I already made you a batch."

I fucking loved her.

Bekah kissed the top of my head and she looked at me. "Ya know I love you, right?" She asked.

I pushed her at arm's length and grin at her. "Yes. And I love you too."

We hug each other again and Samuel stared at us. "Kiss her!" Samuel hooted.

Bekah pulled away from me, her face a bright red. "Samuel! You asshole!" She smacked him across the face not hard at all. She was too drunk to smack him hard.

I threw my head back and laughed.

My friend. My dear, dear, dear friend Bekah.

"Hey! I have an idea!" Hanji chirped. Everyone turned their attention to the female squad leader. "Let's tell each other a silly secret we have."

Bekah's eyes widen to the size of saucer pans. "No way!" Her face turned red.

Hanji pouted. "Oh come on! It'll be fun! Right, Levi?" She turned her head to look at the short man.

Levi snorted. "Do whatever you want, but don't include me in it." He stated, standing up. "Excuse me while I go take a shit." He said sarcastically like usual and he walked to the bar, obviously lying. But that was Levi for you. He loved his shit jokes.

Hanji looked over at everyone. "What do you say? We're all friends here, right?" She threw an arm around Samuel, who wasn't that much taller than her. Hell, I was taller than Samuel…

A lopsided grin crossed his face. "Sure. Why not?" He picked up his shot glass and tilted his head back to drink it. Effortlessly, he drank the hard liquor and looked around the table. "Who goes first?" He asked.

"Why not you, Samuel?" Hanji asked, grinning from ear to ear.

He shrugged. "One time I kissed a frog because I thought it would turn into a princess." He admitted, his cheeks turning a darker pink. "I was, like five, at the time." He admitted.

All three of us women stared at him and we all busted out laughing.

"Oh my god! What made you think that?" Hanji asked.

Samuel thought back to the memory. "Some kid told me if I kissed a frog it'll turn into a princess and she'll give me money as her thank you for breaking the curse." He replied, looking sheepish at his statement. He scratched his cheek.

"That's great to know you kissed a frog!" Bekah laughed. "At least I know _what _your first kiss was." She grinned at him, elbowing him. "I hope that frog didn't use any tongue." She waggled her eyebrows at him.

That only made us laugh louder.

Hanji was next with her confession and her secret was that she had a bunch of drawings of Titans under her mattress. Honestly, that didn't surprise me, but it did creped me out a bit. I never met a character like Hanji before, but everyone has some weird… (fetish?) secret they held. Hers was just a little above and beyond normal standards…

When it came to Bekah's turn she admitted her first kiss was actually with a woman. "I was twelve at the time, and we were curious." She shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal. I knew Bekah was bisexual, but she didn't go around and flaunt herself to a bunch of girls. I think out of the three years we've been friends she's dated one girl, but that relationship was short lived.

Samuel stared at her and grinned. "That's hot." He stated, throwing an arm around her shoulders.

She laughed. "I kissed a girl and I liked it, but I'm not a lesbian so you don't have to worry, Samuel." She kissed his cheek. "No girl is going to snatch me away. Unless it's Aurora." She joked.

My face turned red and I stared at her.

"Joking, Aurora. Joking." She gently shoved my shoulder.

"O-Oh…" I wasn't sure what to say. I wasn't expecting that…

Levi came back with a tray of more shots. He carefully placed it on the table and looked at everyone. "This is it. No more after this, you asswipes."

"Levi! You're back, and just in time for Aurora's confession!" Hanji took a shot glass and twirled it around her fingers.

Levi's cool gaze landed on me and I felt myself tense a bit. What can I say that was a secret, but wouldn't also embarrass me? Yes, I carried a lot of embarrassing secrets like everyone else, but I didn't want Levi to think of me as more of a klutz or a weirdo.

Then I got it.

I breathed in through my nose and exhaled slowly. I took a shot glass from the tray, and before I confessed I drank the shot, declaring it as my last one for the night in my head.

"I have a tattoo." I confessed, looking down at my empty shot glass.

Bekah's eyes widen. Being my best friend, she didn't know this one secret I had. Nobody knew. Not even my mother or father. Tattoos were really expensive to get, and finding a tattoo artist was even harder. It took me months to find one that could do one.

"Really? Where? Can we see?" She piped, her interest peeked.

I pressed my lips together, and I glanced at Levi. He had a look of interest in his eyes, and I let out sigh.

Carefully placing the shot glass back on the tray, I unbuttoned the first two buttons of my shirt.

"You better not flash us, brat." Levi gave me a look, and I felt my cheeks heat up.

"O-Of course not!" I snapped, giving him a look.

He tsked, but watched as I popped one more button loose. I opened my shirt to reveal my collarbone and right underneath the left side were three words that Bekah spoke out loud

"Don't Give Up…?" She asked confused, tilting her head to the side. There were plain words that were in small cursive writing. Under the three words was the Wings of Freedom sign. Bekah moved closer to me to have a better look at it. "What does this supposed to mean?" She looked at me.

A soft sigh passed my lips, and I looked at her. "It's a long story." I replied. "But if you want me to, I can tell you all if you're curious enough." I mentioned.

Hanji grinned. "I do love a good tale! Please tell us!" She sounded a little too excited, but I smiled ever so slightly as the memories that flooded my mind. "There was once…" My words droned on as I told the tale of a special named Ben.


	6. Chapter 6-Benny Boy

The year was 839, years before the fall of Wall Maria and it was during this time I was the happiest. How couldn't I be? I was nine years old. I didn't understand about Titans yet. Yes, my mother told me about it and I knew my father was the Commander of the Survey Corps, but I was so innocent. All I worried about at the time was when I got to play with my best friend Benny Weaver—Ben for short.

Ben and I were inseparable. We were always with each other from the break of dawn till the setting sun—sometimes even later. We would spend countless hours outside playing together. Every day was a new adventure with him. Some days we'd go play hide-and-go-seek throughout the town, or climb a tree. If it was warm enough we'd go swimming at the lake. We did everything with together.

"Benny! Wait!" I laughed at the young boy's enthusiasm as he pulled me toward a field full of wild flowers. He tumbled onto the ground and pulled me with him. Ben laughed sitting up and he saw twigs in my hair.

"Your hair is a mess now!" He grinned from ear, and I stared at him. His eyes were a warm chocolate brown color, and his hair was a shaggy brown. His teeth were naturally straight. At that age it was just puppy love—just a simple school crush that I never knew I had till a few weeks ago.

I leaned forward and I kissed his cheek. I don't know why I done it, but I did.

The boy's face turned a cherry tomato color and he rubbed his cheek. "Eeew!" His face grimaced. "Cuddies!" He yelled, but he grinned at me sheepishly.

I puffed my cheeks out, feeling a bit embarrassed and upset he wiped away my kiss, but he leaned forward and returned the kiss on my cheek.

We were children. We didn't understand anything about kissing and what it meant. Mother told me it was something that two people whom were in love did. I was brave enough to ask her if she and father were in love once before.

She never replied.

Six years later came the fall of Wall Maria. Ben joined the Survey Corps and he was home with me that day. He just arrived from headquarters, still wearing his 3DMG and he was sitting at the table as I attempted to cook dinner to show off that I had practice to cook while he was away. He watched me with that same goofy grin on his face that I fallen for many years ago as a child.

I love him.

Ben… Benny… He was my sunshine behind these walls that held us captive like caged birds. Ben hated feeling trapped, and he was so strong willed that he was willing to join the Survey Corps. When he told me he wanted to join the Corps four years ago I objected it and begged him not to. But Ben being as stubborn as usual heeded my plea and went to military training.

When he came back home three years later he was a soldier, and for the first time I noticed how much he had _grown_. Not just in height, but in spirit. You'd think after going through military training a man's spirit would break down into little pieces, but he seemed to have only grown.

When he came home he had a tattoo just right above where his heart was supposed to be, and he showed it to me. The tattoo said "Don't Give Up" with the Wings of Freedom symbol right under the tattoo.

I'm not going to lie. My face reddened when I saw him unbutton his shirt to show off the tattoo. I knew his intention was innocent, but my eyes couldn't help but wonder over the young man's body.

Ben stood 6'5 tall. I didn't realize that the boy who went into training would come back as a _man_. It was quite embarrassing, but I accepted it. What I couldn't accept was his chiseled chest and defined abs.

I gulped a bit and tore my eyes away from his body and looked stared at his tattoo. I stepped forward and I touched the tattoo. I knew exactly what it meant to him.

"Whenever you feel like you're at a lost and your spirits are really low, don't give up." Ben would say with his perfectly calm and soothing voice that seemed to sound huskier as the time went on.

My fingers sprawled out on his chest, and I could feel his heartbeat underneath the palm of my hand.

Ben grasped my hand and pulled it from the spot on his chest. My heart leapt, thinking that my touch was unwanted, but he surprised me when he pulled my fingers to his chapped lips and kissed the tips.

My heartbeat quickened, and I watched him with my blue eyes as his lips traveled down the curve of my hand and to my wrist. He placed a kiss over my pulse where I knew he could feel the hammering of my heart. And then… He looked at me. He looked at me with hungry, needy eyes.

I stared back into his brown eyes—the eyes I memorized in every detail since I was a child. But today, the warm chocolate eyes looked like the darkest shade of cocoa. I felt my throat constricted from all oxygen. It only worsened when Ben placed his rather large free hand on my hip, and he pulled my body closer to his till her hips connect.

"Aurora…" He said my name with a low, husky voice, and it sent a shiver up my spine.

"Y-Yes?" I asked him, my own voice weak from the wanting need that started to build in my lower regions. It was strange. I never felt like this before with anyone but him. How long has it been since I was like that?

He didn't reply. Instead, his hands released my hip and the grip around my wrist. He cupped my face into his hands and rubbed gentle circles in my cheeks with his calloused thumbs.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the soothing motion as my breathing returned to normal. He placed a knuckle under my chin and tilted my head to look up at him. His other hand ran freely down my back and stopped just right above my butt. I didn't complain. The way he touched sent my body on fire.

"Benny…" I whined, but he sshed me.

"Not another word." He said and he kissed me.

Our first kiss was surprisingly gentle. His large frame loomed over me, and he wrapped his arm around my slender waist.

My hands traveled up his chest and wrapped themselves around his neck where I pulled him down closer to me.

The kiss intensified and he nibbled on my bottom lip. I didn't deny his access and parted my lips just enough for his tongue to roam in my mouth.

We stood there kissing each other in the kitchen of my home. Fortunately my mother was at the Survey Corps to talk to my father about whatever he wanted to talk about.

The only time we parted from each other was to gasp for air and we went back right at each other. I felt something press against my thigh, and I didn't even have to ask what it was.

I pulled away from the kiss and Ben took ahold of my face. He placed gentle kisses over my cheeks, nose, forehead, chin and jawline. My breath hitched in my throat as his kisses traveled further down to my neck and my fingers dug into the front of his shirt. All doubts in my mind that were there flew away, and all it took was a kiss from him.

Eventually we made it to my bedroom and he pressed my back against my mattress. We were completely naked, but neither of us said a word—until he broke the silence.

"I love you," he confessed while he stared into my eyes. His breathing came in pants from his arousal and his large shoulders were moving with his pants.

I stared up at him, and a smile twitched on my lips. For years I held a deep love for Ben. He was always to kind and gentle no matter what the situation was.

"I love you, too, Benny." I replied, smiling up at him.

Ben grinned at me with his silly grin and he kissed me passionately.

We made love that morning for the first time ever. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, but Ben was really gentle with me. It was both of our first time and we took time with each other. He didn't go too fast or too hard till he knew it was okay with me for him to. It was a very blissful moment for us, and when we came it was together. Our yells of pleasure was loud, but we didn't care. We wanted to take a moment and express the love we had for each other, and it was beautiful.

What seemed like minutes were hours as we held each other in our arms, tangled up underneath the sheets. Ben would kiss the side of my head, right above my ear, and whisper about how much loved me. And each time he did I would whisper back to him about how much I loved him.

Eventually we got out of bed and dressed. He would put his 3DMG back on and I took him downstairs to fix dinner.

Ben watched me with amusement as I puffed my cheeks out like I usually did when I got mad or upset. Dinner turned out to be failure. I threw the burnt food away and said, "I give up." When I said that, Ben stood up and placed his hands on my hips and moved my long hair to the side. He placed gentle kisses on my neck and whispered in my ear, "Whenever you feel like you're at a lost and your spirits are really low, don't give up."

I knew his quote very well. He said it often throughout the life we shared together. It was because of him that I never gave up.

I turned to him to kiss him, but before our lips met we heard a loud banging sound.

"What was that?" He looked confused, and he took my hand. "Let's go find out." He said to me and pulled me out of the house to see people standing in place, fear in the eyes.

I turned my eyes to see what they were looking at and my heart sank to the pit of my stomach. Just right over the wall stood a 50 meter class Titan, his hand making indents into our walls that protected us. I stood frozen in fear and the next thing I knew I heard someone scream, "They're coming! The Titans are in the wall!"

Before I could comprehend what was happening, Ben picked me up bridal style and he latched his iron rope into a wall. We flew through the town with him holding me tightly to his chest. My eyes widen.

"Wait! What's going on!?" I was confused.

Ben didn't reply as we flew through the town, passing by everyone that was running towards the boat. We landed in a boat, and he took me by the shoulders and said, "You're going to be safe, Aurora." He kissed my forehead. "I'll be back soon to be with you, okay?" He looked down at me, and I stared at him shocked until I felt his hands move from my shoulders.

My eyes snapped and I turned to look at him, grabbing him by his hand. "Don't leave! Please! You'll die out there!" I shouted, squeezing his hand.

Ben took me by the chin and he kissed me deeply, wrapping an arm around my waist.

Despite being in the middle of crisis he still kissed me with passion and I couldn't help but return it as if it was going to be our last. My heart hammered in my chest and tears were streaking down my cheeks.

When Ben pulled away, he looked down at me with a gentle look in his eyes. "Marry me." He proposed, grasping my hand tightly in his. "When I come back from this, marry me."

It wasn't unusual for two sixteen year olds to get married. At the age of twelve you're considered as an adult—legal to do whatever you want whether it was to join the military or even get married. I just didn't expect him to ask so suddenly…

My eyes stared at him and I felt tears come to my eyes. A sudden heat flushed over me and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

Ben held me tight to him. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Aurora… So please say yes."

I pulled away and looked into his eyes. In a place full of chaos I nodded my head and said, "Yes."

With a final kiss, he pulled away from me just as another soldier yelled at him to go help.

I watched Ben fly through the town with his 3DMG and I placed a hand over my heart. "Don't give up, Benny…" I whispered softly as I watched him disappear into a town that was being overflown with Titans.

"So what happened to Ben?" Bekah asked, staring at me as I finished my story.

I don't know how long we've sat there in the bar, but I assumed long enough for us to be one of the few groups left.

I stared at the table, and I could feel everyone's eyes on me—even Levi's. I opened my mouth and my lip trembled. I sucked in my breath through my teeth and said, "He died that day…" I exhaled and I heard Bekah gasp.

"Oh, Aurora…" She wrapped her arms around me and she hugged me tightly.

It was nice for Bekah to hug me, but I didn't return it. My hands lay limp in my lap and I stared at him as I felt a wetness trickle down my cheek. This wasn't a place for crying, so I stood up and said, "E-Excuse me… I'm going to step outside for a moment."

Everyone watched me as I left them alone in the bar and went outside to be attacked by the chilly air that contacted my skin. I shivered, and I went around the building. My back pressed against the side and I slid down to the ground, covering my face with a hand as more tears exploded from my eyes.

I cried and cried, memories of Ben running through my mind. It wasn't often I told anyone about Ben, but this was the reason why. My heart was broken.

I heard a shuffle of footsteps and then I saw two feet plant themselves in front of me.

"Oi… Brat…" I heard, Levi's nonchalant voice ringing in my ears.

I didn't look at him. I couldn't. I didn't want him to see how weak I was.

Levi knelt down in front of me and he pulled something out from his pocket; a handkerchief. "Look at me," he demanded with a low tone in his voice, and when I didn't he took me by the chin and he made me look at him.

My heart leapt at his sudden motion, and I stared at him, fresh tears in my eyes as the other ones rolled down my rosy red cheeks. There was also snot running down, and I saw Levi grimaced.

"Filthy." He grunted, but he pressed the white handkerchief against my eyes and wiped the tears away with them. If my cheeks weren't already flushed from the crying I knew I would've blushed when he ran the handkerchief over my cheeks.

He rubbed my nose with the cloth, and held it over my nose. "Blow." He commanded, staring down at me.

I pressed my lips together in a thin line, about to object, but he gave me a warning glance. I blew my snotty nose into the handkerchief and he grimaced, but he didn't complain.

When he was done cleaning my face, he tucked the handkerchief in my pocket. "You can keep that." He said with an impassive voice.

My breath hitched in my throat again and I stared up at him, feeling new tears come to my eyes.

Levi tsked. "Stop crying now, brat. There's nothing to cry about." His calloused hands cupped my face and he rubbed the tears that left my eyes away.

I stared at Levi, not saying a word. My cheeks felt hot and so did my breath. I could smell the liquor that was coming from his breath, but I knew he could smell mine as well. "Levi…" I mumbled softly, not calling him captain like how I should address him.

Levi stared down at me for the longest time, and neither of us spoke a word. I could feel a spark ignite in between us and Levi cupped my chin.

My eyes widen slightly, but I relaxed despite the pounding in my chest from my heart. I could feel Levi's hot breath over my lips and I knew our faces were aligned with one another. He tilted my head to the side and he ran a thumb over my lips.

I opened my eyes to see what he was doing. I was confused. Did he or didn't he want to kiss me?

He had a thoughtful look on his face and he stared down at me. "Close your eyes," he whispered with a low voice.

My breath hitched in my throat, but I didn't disobey his command. My eyes flutter shut and waited to see what he would do.

I don't know if it was the influence of alcohol or not, but whatever it was Levi decided to lean forward and press his chapped lips against mine.

A new kind of warmth flooded my body and I shivered at the feeling of his lips pressing against mine. My head felt like it was whirling around and I felt my hands grip the grass underneath me

Levi tilted my head to the other side and deepened the kiss. I felt his tongue run over my lips and I parted my mouth to feel his hot muscle enter my mouth and explore it. I let him as I rubbed my tongue against his and I felt Levi's hand leave my chin and wrapped them around my waist.

My breathing grew ragged in the kiss, and when he pulled away I panted. I stared up at him with a glazed look in my eyes. My cheeks were burning from the heat of the moment, and Levi was staring down at me.

Abruptly, he released my waist and stood up. He turned on his heels and left me there on the side of the building dazed. When he disappeared from my line of vision and I touched my lips.

_He kissed me… _I thought to myself and a smile broke on my lips. I leaned my head back against the side of the building and stared at the starry sky.

Maybe things weren't so bad.

When I felt enough courage to go back inside, everyone was ready to go back to HQ. My eyes couldn't help but wonder over to Levi whom didn't glance at my direction. I was disappointed, but I guessed he didn't mean to kiss me…

Back at HQ, I wished everyone a goodnight, giving Bekah a hug before I left.

At my room, Levi was standing in front of the door, leaning against it. I walked up to him, confused by his actions. First he kissed me, left me at the side of the building, wouldn't look at me on the walk back here, and now he was standing in front of my door. What was he up to?

When I walked up to him, his arms were crossed over his chest and he had a foot propped up against the door.

"Uhm… What's up?" I asked him confused.

Levi looked at me, and all he said, "Don't die on me, brat." He huffed and walked down the hall.

I felt my heart constrain, but I smiled. I walked in my room and pulled the handkerchief from my pocket and examined it. Snot was over it, but at the corner was an L embroiled into the handkerchief. A happy sigh left my lips and I went to bed.

For the first time in a long time I dreamed a sentimental dream.

Ben stood in front of me, holding my hand and he kissed my cheek. He looked into my eyes with his warm chocolate brown ones and he grinned at me his goofy grin. "Goodbye, Aurora. I will always love you…." He whispered in my ear and he kissed my forehead.

I smiled at Ben, not feeling sad or lost for the first time.

"Goodbye, Ben…" I whispered, and watched him walk off into a bright, white world.

_Don't give up…_


	7. Chapter 7-BFFs

**Three Years Ago**

In the year of 852 I decided to join military school despite all of my mother's begging not to. I told her I wanted to give my life to humanity, but that wasn't the truth. She called me my father's daughter, saying that I'm just like him—too stubborn and strong minded. I had done what I wanted and went to military school, and all for a man… Oh mother would be so proud of me…

Preteens surrounded me. It has been a week since training started, and the kids were better than me in combat, strength, agility—everything. The only thing they didn't have that I had was quick thinking in tough situations. I was a whizz when it came to analyzing a situation and coming to a decision within a matter of seconds, but that wouldn't take me far outside the walls.

Being twenty years old it was rare to find someone in the training corps to be about the same age as me. It was rare to even see someone at the age of sixteen here, but I tried my hardest to get along with all the kids. The only problem with the kids was that almost all of them were cocky. More than half of them didn't even know what the Titans were capable to do. What made it worse was that a bunch kids ranked much higher than I did. I'm the adult. I should be a good role model to the kids, but honestly, I sucked at this whole military thing.

I was sitting under a tree by a big swimming hole. It was early fall and the air felt slightly nippy, but I decided to step away for a bit. All of the cadets and I finished our daily training with 3DMG and I decided to step away. I haven't made a single friend yet, but most of the kids called me by the nickname of-.

"Hey, gramma."

I felt my teeth grit at the terrible nickname.

Out of all the bad names the preteens could've picked for me they voted on gramma. It wasn't the decision of giving me a nickname that hurt. It was just that I was _that _old. Hell, I was only twenty. At most, I was eight years older than the majority of the cadets.

The voice that dared to call me gramma came from above me. I lifted my head to see a girl whom practically looked like she was fifteen year old girl with her baby face up in a tree. I didn't really know her. I think her name was Reba or Rebs or something. I don't know. I never met her personally. When I first saw it was on the first day of training when Shadis went around and scared all the kids senseless.

…And me…

The girl jumped from the branch she was sitting on and she landed perfectly on her feet in front of me. Getting a closer look to her I could see she had brunette hair that was cut into a short bob that barely passed her chin. Her eyes were a deep chestnut brown and freckles covered the bridge of her nose. She had tiny, petite frame and she was really short. She stood at least 5'0 ft. tall. I was twice her height, and it made me feel odd around her. Not only that, she looked like a freaking fifteen year old.

She stared up at me, her face a blank, but the corners of her lips tugged into a smile. She tilted her head to the side and smiled at me. "Hiya! I'm Rebekah Nyle! But everyone calls me Bekah." She greeted cheerfully, holding her hand out to me to shake.

I stared at her dumbfounded. She was definitely a cheerful person, but I smiled at her. She seemed nice enough.

"Aurora Fisher," I replied, taking her hand and shaking it.

Bekah's smile didn't falter as she looked at me. She pulled her hand back, and stretched her arms above her head. "Well, it seems like we're the only adults on this camp." She said to me.

I gave her a strange look. What did she mean by that? As far as I knew of I was the only "adult" here. There wasn't anyone else older than 16 years old that was beside me—at least that was what I thought. Not only that, she didn't look any older than fifteen…

The smile on Bekah's face widened and she laughed a bit. "I'm twenty, silly!" She laughed hysterically.

"W-What?" I stuttered a bit. There was no way possible she was the same age as me.

"Yeah. I'm serious. I'm twenty years old. I just look like a kid because I'm not wearing any make-up. I have a baby face, so everyone mistaken me as a kid." She explained.

Huh. No wonder. She got lucky with the kids then… If they knew there was someone that was just as old as I am, then maybe they'd give me some slack?

"So, I hear you need some help with combat skills." She stated rather then asked.

That was great to know that everyone thought my skills as a soldier was bad…

"What of it?" I asked, trying my hardest not to sound offended by the rumors that went around the training corps.

She shrugged. "I thought you might want some help." She offered her service, and I stared at her. There had to be a catch.

"And what do you want for your help?" I asked her, not wanting to fully say yes to her. I didn't even know her—let alone know what skills she actually carried as a soldier.

"Hm…" She tapped her chin, a mock thoughtful expression on her face.

I couldn't help but smile a bit at her actions. She seemed kind of silly, and carefree. Plus, I haven't heard anything bad about her yet. But then again we've been in training for at least a week.

"How about this," she clicked her tongue and grinned from one ear to the other, "for your payment of my services you become my friend." She offered, holding her hand out to me. "Deal?" She asked.

I blinked surprised. Out of all the things in the world she could ask for a payment she said that. It was odd, but she seemed a bit odd.

"Weeellll?" She sang, nudging my shoulder. "We are the two only people over the age of twenty here. When I first heard of you, I thought why not try to become friends with you?"

She brought a valid point. Plus, it would be nice to have at least _one _friend the same age as me while I was here.

"Sure." I grinned at her.

"Awesome!" She clapped her hands together and then she shook her wrists out. "Now! I don't know about you, but I am hungry!" She exclaimed as her stomach growled.

I giggled softly at her, and then smiled. She was a strange girl, but I liked her.

Bekah and I became friends that day and onward. If it wasn't for Bekah to help me through training corps, I was sure I would have failed at the very bottom. Bekah was a great help during that time. She wasn't the best, but she wasn't the worst either. At least she was able to graduate within the top thirty students.

Thinking back to then, I remembered when Bekah said she planned to join the Garrison Corps, but she changed her mind and joined the Survey Corps instead. She never told me why, but then I never bothered to ask her why.

Turning my head to look at the bunk across from me, I called, "Bekah." Not too long ago, Bekah decided to come to our room that we shared with eight other women.

I heard a rustle underneath the sheets, and then a moan from the sleepy girl. "Whaaat?" She whined, turning over to look at me with sleepy eyes.

I was so glad she was a light sleeper.

A small smile tugged on my lips and I looked at the girl across from me. "Why did you join the survey corps?" I asked her softly.

It took Bekah a minute to process the question. A thoughtful look came on her face as she tried to remember her decision, and when she did, her entire face lit up.

"To make sure I keep you alive and save your sorry ass when you get into trouble," she grinned at me. Even though it was dark, I could see that smile on her face and her perfect straight, white teeth.

I puffed out my cheeks like the way I always did when I got mad or upset. I was more than capable to take care of myself.

…Sort of…

"What? It's true, and you know it." She mocked.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah." I replied.

Someone sshed us.

"Shut up! We're trying to sleep here," said one of the cadets.

Bekah and I looked at each other, and we knew. We were best friends. She came to the survey corps because we weren't right without the other.

"Can I sleep with you?" I asked her softly, looking across at her way.

This wasn't uncommon with each other—sleeping in the same bed. After you knew someone and they saved your ass time and time again sharing a bed wasn't strange at all in between two friends.

"Sure," she said with a soft smile.

Being as quiet as possible, I slipped from my bed to hers. Becah lifted the covers and she invited me in to sleep next to her. Facing her, I cuddled next to her, resting my head on the pillow she shared.

Bekah smiled at me, and I returned the smile.

"We'll be best friends forever, right, Bekah?" I asked her.

Bekah's smile didn't waver. Instead, it grew and she nodded her head. "Yes. We'll be best friends forever. I promise." She replied, holding out her pinky finger to me.

I hooked my pinky around hers and we both smiled.

"Best friends forever," we said in unison.

"SERIOUSLY! Will you guys shut up," said the same voice that yelled at us earlier.

The two of us looked at each other and we both smiled. "Night," we both said to each other before falling asleep next to one another.


	8. Chapter 8-What the Hell

**Levi's POV**

The first time I laid eyes on her was when she first joined the Survey Corps earlier this year. She stood on the stage, her right fist over her heart and her left one on her back. Her golden hair that reminded me the color of wheat during the fall glimmered underneath the sunlight. Back then, her hair was cut short into a bob, but it has long since then grown past her shoulder blades. Even then, I thought about how beautiful her hair was.

I made my rounds, walking down the stage to accept each cadet's invitation to join the Survey Corps, handing them each their new uniform and hoodie. All of the cadets were at least fifteen, if not a little older. But Aurora was the oldest out of the troops. From what I've heard she was one of the worst, but she passed none-the-less.

When I reached the young woman, our eyes met, and I was taken aback by her icy blue eyes. Commander Erwin came to mind when I looked at her, but I pushed the thought back as I handed her the uniform and hoodie. Unlike Commander Erwin's eyes, hers were warm. Looking at her, I could tell she was a good person, but so was many others who joined the Survey Corps.

"Thank you," she spoke quietly, her voice having a slight quiver to it. Fear, most likely. What sane person who joined this corporation didn't fear the possibility of being eaten alive by a Titan? Not many and those who didn't were fools.

I didn't reply to her words of gratitude and continued my way down the line. I wanted to get this stupid ritual over with and go back to my room.

On our first expedition with the newest batch of training cadets I made an expectation list of who would die first. The person near the top was Aurora Fisher. She didn't have the necessary skills to be a soldier. She was at least able to harness the 3DMG, but her agility was poor. Not only that, she had awful perception and combat skills. How she didn't manage to graduate on the very bottom still amazes me to this day.

Surprisingly, she made it back to headquarters after her first expedition with a kill and two assists. She amazed me, and she continued to amaze me after that. For someone who was so weak was so strong. She never gave up no matter how tough a situation was. Even after all the abuse and training I put her through she kept coming back to me, saying she wasn't going to give up. She said she wanted to be stronger—wanted to be better.

I remember the first time she came to me and asked for my help.

"Heichou," she said, her voice quivering, "please help me! I want to be a stronger soldier!" She bowed, and I stared at her with a blank expression.

Anyone who came to me and asked me for my help didn't last long with my kick-ass training. Most of them got injured really badly, but they asked for my help even after I warned them I wouldn't go easy on them.

Aurora was no different from any other soldier that was under my supervision.

I tsked, looking at her. "Why should I help you?" I hissed, staring her straight in the eyes with my cold grey eyes.

She stared at me, her icy blue eyes peering straight into my grey ones. Oddly, I felt my heart throb. Despite being scared out of wits, she still stood tall in front of me. Not only that, her eyes… They remained to stay warm. No matter what, her spirit didn't break down.

"Because I want to be a soldier you can be proud of!" She shouted with confidence, standing tall with her answer.

She was about a head taller than me—fucking amazon woman—but I didn't let our height difference intimidate me. She was like any soldier I had that wanted me to be proud of them.

A huff passed my lips. "If you want my help, you can't back out no matter what. If you do," I looked her straight in the eyes, "I'll never look at you again." I stated.

One of my biggest pet peeves with a lot of soldiers I helped train always quit halfway through. They'd ask for my help then back out after they realize my skill of training was lot higher then what any of them went through.

She tensed a bit at my words. I watched her bite on her bottom lip, pulling it back.

I watched her. Something about the way she did looked so… sexy…

I shook the thought out from mind. I told myself that I haven't been laid in a long time and that my thoughts were uncalled for

"That's fine! I'll do anything!" She bowed her head. "Please, heichou, train me! I'll take whatever you come at with." She promised.

I stared at her.

She reminded me of Petra.

I tsked. I didn't need to think of my ex-lover and how she was brutally murdered.

"Fisher! Get up you piece of shit and try it again!" I snapped at her once again. For hours I have been sparring with her to test her skills. It hasn't been that long since she graduated military training, and it was a miracle with how she made it through alive.

Her body shook and she stood to her feet and resumed her awful fighting position. She was too tense as she stepped one foot back and her arm in front of her to protect her face. Her posture was worse than her form! It drove me crazy with how her shoulders were hunched over and how her tailbone stuck out. My grey eyes bore into her, feeling really pissed. How the fuck did she get through military training without learning how to stand in a proper fighting posture!? It was outrageous!

"Your posture is worse than your form!" I snapped, a low growl escaping my throat.

Aurora tensed even more, and I saw her swallow her saliva.

I charged forward and threw a punch at her. Before she even could react my fist aligned with her cheek. She stumbled back and fell over onto her butt with a soft thud. She looked she was about to cry, but I try not to let her tears faze me. She came to me and asked for my help, so I'm giving it to her.

Once more, she rose to her feet. I applauded her silently for getting back up. It took guts for someone to stand back up and take another brutal punch. Not many would stand long with me, but she kept trying. She didn't want to give up—but why didn't she punch back?

Before she could react I threw another punch, except this time in the gut. She coughed up blood, and I wrinkled my nose at the sight. Disgusting. But I needed her to fight. She needed to get up and fight me. That's the only way I know she can be a great soldier someday.

Tears filled her eyes, but she bit her bottom lip and stared at the ground as she tried her hardest not to ball her eyes out in front of me.

Once more, she rose to her feet. I applauded her silently for getting back up. It took guts for someone to stand back up and take another brutal punch. Not many would stand long with me, but she kept trying. She didn't want to give up—but why didn't she punch back? I needed to get her pissed at me if I want to make a soldier out of her.

"Look at you. You're pathetic." I gripped a handful of her hair and pulled her head to make her look at me. "You're scum. You're worse than scum. You're the muck that I rake off my boots every day." I sneered at her and my nostrils flared.

The water works started. Tears ran down her cheeks and she closed her eyes. My eyes flared with anger. "How the fuck did you graduate at not being the lowest cadet in your class? Wait?" My eyes sneered at hers harshly one more, and I see her tense. "Let me rephrase that: how the hell did you even make it this far alive?" I asked her, somewhat interested for her answer.

Her eyes darted to the side, and when she didn't answer I got really pissed. What the fuck? It was a simple question. Why wouldn't she answer me?

My gaze hardened. "Not going to answer me, Fisher?"

She averter her gaze from mine and stared at the trees in the distance. With a loud grunt of disapproval, I released my hold from her hair and I stood to my feet. "You're dismissed for now, cadet. The next time we spar together I better see improvement or else there will be a punishment." I hissed and I watched her shoulders hitch up. Her head fell forward ashamed.

I shuffled my feet away from her, heading back to HQ. I needed a drink now because I was so frustrated with her.

In my room, I tilted my head back and drank the hard liquor in my glass. I barely knew Aurora, and she frustrated me in more ways than one. She was so weak, but she was so strong at once. Not physically, but I do give her props. She could take a punch and still get back on her feet. For that, I respected her.

"Get up, Aurora! Get up NOW!" I yelled at her when she fell to the ground out of breath. Rain pelted to the ground from the dark looming clouds overhead of us. We both were really terrible, but I obviously didn't voice my feelings. For days neither of us has rested. Every morning I would wake up before the break of dawn so I could drag her ass out to the woods and give her the most brutalist training I offered. It would be like that all day till the sun went down. Sometimes we wouldn't stop to eat, but when we did it was always a small meal. I noticed that Aurora lost a couple of pounds because of it, but it wasn't like she looked sick now. She carried a few extra pounds anyway that she could've been better for her to lose. (Not that she was fat or anything, just a little plump.)

It was late at night, and I could barely see what was in front of me. My eyes adjusted to the dark, but I still couldn't see but Aurora's figure. Trees of all sorts stood around us, blowing along with the howling wind. It was piss pouring rain, but we continued our strenuous training. I wanted to take advantage of the weather, telling her that it didn't matter if it rain or shine, the Titans would still eat us.

"I said get up, brat!" I kicked her in the side and blood spouted out from her mouth. I could tell she was close to cracking under me, and it was a wonder with how she hasn't already. I never had a cadet like her before. I stood over her with an impassive expression on my face. It has been three weeks since we started training, but I will give her some credit. She was the only person, woman or man, to take as much abuse from me. For someone who lacked so much talent was a strong soldier.

I actually hoped she would make it alive through this damn era.

A new expression came to Aurora's face that I never seen on her before.

She was _sneering _at me. I never seen her sneer at anyone before, and I'm not going to lie. It was a frightening.

I knelt down beside her and grabbed her hair forcefully, a flashback to a similar incident with her coming to my mind. I needed to piss her off. Only when she fights me back will be the moment I will know if she'll be good enough as a soldier.

I stared at her, and I could see all kinds of emotions crossing over in her face and eyes. Some I couldn't read, but a few I could see it perfectly clear.

My lips twitched a bit, wanting to smirk, but I held it back. Finally, some emotion.

"You hate me right now." I stated.

Good. Hate me. I wanted her to hate me. If she was going to make it out in this world she needed some sort of source of anger and let it out on the Titans. I needed to provoke her to hit me.

"You want hit me. If you want to hit me, do it." My words sounded colder than ice, but I didn't expect her to actually punch me. She never done it before, but maybe she finally snapped?

I caught her first punch easily in the palm of my hand. Her move was obvious. I twisted her arm behind her back, turning her around so her back was facing me. I wrapped my arm around her neck and pulled her close to my body. Her head forcibly leaned against my shoulder, and her gaze turned to look me in the eyes.

My eyes were cold as usual, but hers were colder than ice. An image of Erwin came to mind, and I could tell in this very moment that she surely was his daughter. And if Erwin saw her right now I'm sure he would be proud of how much improvement she made in the last few months.

"You can move, Aurora. Get up." I hissed my demand in her ear. I released her from my strong grip in my arms, but she kneeled forward on her knees, her back still facing me. She rested her hands on her inner thighs.

"Get up!" I yelled. "Stop taking a shit and get up, Aurora!"

I gritted my teeth together. I couldn't read her at all. One minute she was pissed and wanted to fight me, and then the next she looked like she wanted to throw in the towel. Was this what women called PMSing?

Slowly, but steadily, she rose up to a kneeling-standing position. Her hands were still on her thighs, but her fingers gripped her dirtied trousers that were in desperate need for a wash now.

"Good! Now stand up straight, brat!" I snapped at her, a low growl escaping my throat.

Aurora didn't look at me. I couldn't see what her face looked like since her bangs covered her eyes. It body language was also unreadable as well. She refused to look at me.

"Look at me," I said to her; my voice softer than what it was last time. I noticed it had some effect from the way her body shuddered. I don't know what that meant, but I didn't question her.

Aurora moved her bangs out of her eyes and she stared at me. We both were a dripping, wet mess due to the rain. It lessoned to a sprinkle finally. I somehow managed to keep myself semi-clean, but she was muddy from head to toe. If it wasn't for the moonlight behind the dark clouds that started to peak out I wouldn't be able to see the bruises that aligned her face.

"Good. Now-…" My words were cut off when I felt her fist align with my cheek. My head reeled to the side and I stumbled back against a tree.

Fuck. I didn't expect that to happen.

I slipped to the ground and gripped the grass underneath me. I wasn't sure how to take her last move, but when she offered her hand out for me to take I considered it, but denied it. Out of pride, I smacked her hand away and stood up on my own.

The rain came to a complete stop and the clouds broke. The fully moon shined over the lands that surrounded us, and the wind blew a light, cool breeze. I didn't want to risk getting either one of us to fall ill, so I looked at her. I needed to end this, but I wanted to make something perfectly clear first.

My eyes glinted, and she looked almost happy by it. She must have thought I was proud or something, but she was wrong. I lunged forward and kneed her in the gut.

I hate surprise attacks. What pissed me more she didn't even let me finish my sentence.

She knelt down on her knees and grasped her stomach in the folds of her arms.

For the longest time I stared at her, thoughts racing through my mind about her. She was a puzzle, and I couldn't solve her. One minute I thought I had the pieces to stick together perfectly, but one piece didn't fit the other. It frustrated me. _She _frustrated me because I couldn't figure out what was on her mind like I normally could with anybody else. I didn't understand her or why she even joined the military in the first place. From what I understood, she had a decent life back at home, but she left it all behind to be here. Why risk her life to be here? Yes, she was the Commander's daughter, but that didn't make her obligated to join anything.

I bent down and held out a hand for her to take. She stared at it, thinking that I might be testing her. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her.

"I'm not going to do anything, brat." I tsked and grabbed ahold of her hand that was still clenched to her stomach. I pulled her up to a standing position, and she stumbled over. I caught her by the forearms and steadied her. "Careful. I don't want to drag your ass home. " I joked, but my voice was calm. She was so clumsy for someone who called herself a soldier.

I noticed a reddening to her cheeks, but I didn't think of it at the time. I tucked my hands into my pockets and spoke, "Oi. Brat."

She turned herself to face me, and I looked up at her.

"You passed," I said.

She looked confused. "Passed what?"

I tsked. If she couldn't figure out that I was proud for that damn surprise punch (no matter how much I hated it) then I'm not going to say it more bluntly. "I'm not going to spell it out for you, brat." I replied. Besides, she seems smarter than what she lets on what she was. "Let's go back to HQ." I said, and I turned on my heels. I left her standing there in the forest.

That night, I couldn't stop thinking about Aurora. Even during the shower I thought of her, and something about her intrigued me. She wasn't like any woman—no person—I have ever met. She was strong, reliable, and somewhat intelligent from what I could understand. I heard in her classes she scored pretty high, but that wasn't enough to get you alive in this world.

Aurora was many things. She frustrated me like no one has ever before, but she never gave up. I could throw her to the ground, punch her, kick her, spit at her and she would get right back on her feet, asking for more. So I gave her more each and every time.

She came in many surprises, and I…I admired her for that. And there was something about her that made me feel… sort of alive. These last three weeks of Camp Hell, I felt like I could connect to another human being, and that was Aurora… I wasn't exactly sure what these feelings were, but they almost reminded me of what I felt like before Petra died…

I shook the thoughts out of my mind, and huffed.

After Petra died, I vowed I wouldn't feel the same with anyone else, but maybe it would be different with Aurora?

Only time will tell. But right now, I had bigger problems to worry about that concerned thousands of lives.

After drying myself off, I went to bed and slept peacefully for once in awhile.


	9. Chapter 9-Found Out

In one more day I'll be going out to my third expedition beyond the walls. So many thoughts swarmed my mind. Fears, hopes, dreams—everything was on the line. My hand in marriage was on the line, and this was my fault to begin with. If only I was stronger then maybe this wouldn't happen. Maybe this wouldn't happen if I only told Levi the feelings I harbored for him the last five years. I don't know. All I know was that I am weak. I am a coward who can't stand up to her own father. I am a grown woman, but yet I couldn't tell my father no. Put my foot down and stare him straight in the eye and tell him to shove his deal up his ass and walk out right then and there. If I did that than maybe Levi would notice me.

Last night, Levi kissed me out his own drunkenness. I know. There was no point in trying to justify that there was a possibility he had feelings for me. We both had our fair share of drinks last night, and neither of us was exactly in our right mind. As much as I wanted a meaning behind his kiss, I knew there wasn't. I was a failure when it came to being a soldier. Why would he be interested in me? He was humanities strongest, while I was the weakest link in the corps. Most people who were like me would coward over to the Garrison division, but not I. I decided to risk my life and join the survey corps for a man.

Levi, he wasn't any normal kind of man… He was a captain and a squad leader. In all honesty, he was too good for me. I'm even surprised he decided to help me by training me. What made it even better he never gave up on me… He never spoke many words, but he was the only person in this whole corporation that made me feel like I was a soldier.

It was early morning and I woke up with a massive hang over. It was so bad I ran out of my bed and to the bathroom across the hall. I pushed whoever got in my way to the women's bathroom and found the nearest opened toilet to puke in it. The contents that were in my stomach emptied out completely and my fingers curled tightly around the porcelain seat. It was cute disgusting…

When I finished, my nose curled as I adverted my eyes from the sludge I puked out.

There was no way in hell I was going to eat breakfast this morning.

I decided this was a better time than any other to get cleaned up. After I flushed the toilet, I went back to my dorm room to get a set of clean clothes along with my other toiletries I needed for a shower. Gathering all my stuff into a carrier, I went back to the shower and cleaned myself up. After I finished my routine, I got out and looked in the mirror.

There were dark bags underneath my eyes from a bad night of sleep. Levi kept entering my thoughts and his kiss…

I shook my head, droplets of water spraying across the room. I took my towel and towel dried my blonde hair. When I was done, I looked in the mirror, and my bangs fell into my face. Two long strands of my bangs tickled my nose and I huffed at it. Maybe it was getting close to having a haircut?

Bekah barged into the bathroom just then and she looked at me with a dead expression. She looked worse than what I did.

"Hangover?" I questioned, looking at her. I still felt pretty bad, but not as nearly as bad as earlier. I could tell she just woke up too.

Bekah palmed her forehead. "Do I look that bad?" She asked. She moaned in pain from the throbbing headache she was experiencing. I didn't need to ask since I could already tell that was the problem. It could be worse though. She could've waked up with the sudden urge to throw-…

Bekah ran to a closed stall a puked her guts out as well.

Spoke too soon.

I filled a glass of water that was on the corner of the sink I was using. I always brought a glass with me to the bathroom to pour water in and swish my mouth after I brush my teeth. It was better trying to cup water into my hand and swishing it like that.

When I heard Bekah moan, I got that as my cue and walked to her. She lifted her head slightly from the rim to see I was holding a glass of water in my hand and she held her hand to it. I handed her the glass.

"Thanks." She replied, sipping the water and swishing it around in her mouth.

"No need to thank me," I replied with a soft smile.

Bekah spit the water out of her mouth and into the toilet. She flushed it and I helped her stand back up to her feet.

Neither of us felt good enough to eat breakfast, so we both decided to leave the room and go outside for a walk. It was the day before the expedition and neither of us knew what would happen. Even though we both been on a few expeditions together, no one knew what the outcome would be.

The air felt cool today. I was thankful that summer was getting closer finally. I hated the cold, and so did Bekah—especially since a lot of people got sick over the winter. Plus, Bekah and I planned to swim this summer as much as we were a loud to. Just the thought of jumping in the cool water on a hot summer day made me feel excited.

"I have a secret," Bekah said out of nowhere.

I stopped in my tracks and I turned to look at her surprised.

Bekah and I had this unspoken code between each other that we don't keep secrets in between one another. It was just natural for us to talk to each other about anything and everything. Another code we had was that if we had news about something we would tell each other first before anyone else

"What's that?" I asked, looking at her.

Bekah stopped walking and she stared down at her feet. She was just a few feet away from me, but I could tell there was something up with her.

"Don't tell anyone—especially Samuel. I just want to tell someone before tomorrow comes… Just in case, ya know, something happens to me." She said, looking at me with a strange look in her eyes.

I gave her a look.

What was up with her? She rarely acted like this unless something really was wrong…

"What are you talking about?" I smiled at her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She was talking nonsense. Yes, we can't predict what would happen tomorrow, but Bekah was strong—much stronger than what I'll ever be. "You act like you're afraid you'll be in your grave by tomorrow."

Bekah gave me a tight smile and she shrugged off my arm. "Aurora, I'm serious… There's something I need to tell you…" She looked around and she pulled me further into the forested area. She stopped behind a huge tree and looked at me.

I looked down at my friend, and she had a genuine worried look on her face. She moved her hand from my arm and she rested it on her lower abdomen. Her face fell and she stared at her hand.

My eyes widen. She didn't need to say anymore for me not to know what was wrong.

"Bekah… When did you find out?" I asked her, pulling her into my arms.

Bekah wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head against my chest. "A few days ago… I didn't know, but my period has been nonexistent for two months now…" Her breath hitched. "Aurora… I can't be pregnant… How can I take care of a baby now? I'm in the military." She gripped the back of my jacket and pulled back a bit. "How am I supposed to tell Samuel?" She asked, and I stared at her with wide eyes.

"You have to tell him! There's no way you can go on the expedition tomorrow! What if…" I looked away. I didn't want to say it, but we both knew none of us could predict what could happen tomorrow. For all I knew I could die on the field, but I highly doubted it since I would be near my father and Levi's squad. Not only that, Bekah and Samuel won't be too far from me either. They should be okay…

Bekah looked down for a long moment. Her eyebrows furrowed together, a thoughtful look on her face and she clenched her teeth together and unclenched them repeatedly. I didn't have to ask her what was going on in her mind. I could tell just by looking at her.

"Aurora… I'm so scared…" Bekah replied and I hugged her once again.

I couldn't understand how she was feeling. In the military we were the king's property till we're dismissed by either the commander or the king himself. Most people died in battle before they ever got dismissed.

"Don't be…" I said to her softly, hugging her tighter. I was worried about her, and the baby. "Samuel and I will surely take care of her you." I promised.

Well, I wasn't sure about Samuel, but he didn't seem like the kind of guy to leave Bekah behind in a tight bind.

"Thank you, Aurora." Bekah sniffled and she wiped at her eyes and she smiled at me. It was fake, but Bekah was a strong person. It wasn't like her to get upset unless it was something really traumatic.

"You'll be fine. I'm sure you will be. After the expedition tomorrow, we can go to the Commander and ask for your leave. I doubt you could leave today, but I'm sure you will be able to after tomorrow. I'll be here for you every step of the way." I reassured her as I held her hands tightly in mine.

Bekah nodded her heard curtly at me and smiled a bit. "You're the greatest friend I could ever have, Aurora."

I blushed at that. I didn't expect her to ever say that. It was kind of odd considering we never called each other our best friend. I guess it's because we already knew the obvious, but I smiled at her. "Hey, I'm not all that great. I'm just doing what's right." I winked at her. "Now, let's go back inside. It looks like it's about to rain." I said, looking up at the sky. The wind blew a soft, cool breeze that had a slight nip to it. Over our heads were dark rolling clouds, and I remembered the last night of Camp Hell with Levi. It poured the rain hard that night, and for some odd reason I couldn't help but smile at the memory. It was just a few days ago, but it sort of felt like a lifetime ago… And then…

I felt my cheeks color as I remembered the kiss we shared last night. It was so breathtaking and amazing… I never expected him to show me any kind of affection, rather he was drunk or not…

"Hey," Bekah bumped her hip against me. "Why are you blushing for?" She asked, grinning at me. "Did something nice come into your mind?"

My cheeks darkened more.

Out of all the years I knew Bekah, I never told her my undying love for Captain Levi. I just didn't think it was necessary to tell anyone—even my best friend. Mainly because I'm too embarrassed to admit it, but also because I knew Levi could never return my feelings.

The smile on my face dropped and I looked down. How could I tell her?

"Hey, tell me, Aurora. You know you can trust me." Bekah said, gripping my hand in hers. "I won't tell anyone, nor will I laugh at you." She smiled. "I didn't want to ask, but… are you in love with Captain Levi?"

Her sudden question took me aback. My eyes widen and I stared at her surprised. Were the feelings I've harbored for Levi were that obvious? I thought I hid them well, but I guess I didn't… So, if she could tell, could he?

Bekah giggled softly. "I knew it… I could tell by the look on your face you gave me just now." She wrapped her arm around my neck and leaned her hip against mine. For someone shorter than me she sure was able to reach around my neck pretty well. "Don't be shy about it, Norie. I'm pretty sure no one has noticed. Hell, I don't think he has because you've hid it so well. I wouldn't have guessed if it wasn't for the surprise kiss he gave you last night." She winked at me.

My mouth dropped. "W-What!? You saw!?" I was flabbergasted. I DID NOT expect that! I was sure anyone didn't follow him out.

"Hey, don't be so surprised." She unwrapped her arm and shrugged her shoulders. "I went outside after I noticed you and Captain were gone for so long. I figured you got lost maybe or something. I don't know. You were drunk, and so was Levi. It's easy to get distracted and forget where you are when you drink."

My entire face was a cherry red and I couldn't believe the words that left her mouth. I was surprised more than embarrassed though. And I felt slightly ashamed… I never even told Bekah about the feelings I've held for Levi.

"So… You saw, huh?" I asked her the obvious. I don't know why, but I had to ask her for clarification. "Did… Did anyone else saw?" I asked her.

Bekah shook her head. "Nope. Just me. When I saw, I turned back around and went back inside." She elbowed me in the side. "Now come on. Spill the beans already. How long have you been in love with Levi?" She asked with a huge goofy grin on her face.

I stared at her. I might as well tell her, I thought.

"Well," I scratched my cheek. "It's sort of a long story…" I replied.

Right then, I felt a rain drop fall on top of my head. I looked up and I felt another rain drop hit my cheek. It was starting to rain as more drops fell from the dark clouds.

"Come on. Let's go on inside," she said, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me out of the forest. "We can talk all we want in our room." She stated.

I gave a slight smile. Goody. Story time.

"O-Okay…" I stuttered.

This was going to be fun….

NOT.

Sitting in his Captain's office was Levi. He was sitting at his desk with a glass cup of hot tea. His fingertips enclosed around the rims of the cups, and he would bring the cup to his lips and drink the hot liquid. Standing by the window was Commander Erwin. He had imploring look on his face as he saw rain drops hit the window and go down the glass.

"It's starting to rain," Erwin commented.

Levi didn't look up from his cup. "That I see," he replied. He had the same expression on his face that didn't really give out that much information of what was on his mind, but he had a lot on it. First a foremost was Aurora. Ever since last night he couldn't get her off of his mind. Tomorrow would determine whether or not she would continue with the survey corps or get married. He wasn't sure what he hoped for, but he knew this for sure: he didn't want Aurora to be kicked out of the survey corps. Sure, she was one of his worst soldiers, but she had a lot of potential. He never met anyone with as much determination as Aurora. It didn't matter how many punches you threw at her, she would stand back up on her feet.

"Are you ready for tomorrow's ordeal?" Erwin asked, looking over at Levi. His arms were crossed around his chest, and his hip was leaning against the wall. "Tomorrow determines whether or not my daughter continues here on the survey corps or gets married. I hope you prepared her enough for tomorrow, Levi." Erwin said, giving him a look.

Levi scoffed. "What does it have to do with me?" He lifted his gaze from his tea and to Erwin. "Whether or not she's ready for tomorrow does not involve me whatsoever. All I did for her was give her a little push." Levi replied as he sipped the last bit of his tea. He placed the cup on the hardwood desk with a soft "clank."

Erwin chuckled softly. "Now Levi, don't lie to me. I'm sure you care some or else you wouldn't push my daughter so hard."

Silence was left in the room. Levi didn't reply to that. Sure, he pushed her, beat her, and abuse her, but she never complained nor did she ask him to stop. But that didn't mean anything else. At least, he didn't think so.

Erwin walked over to Levi, and he squeezed his shoulder. "I know this shouldn't be asked considering my daughter is only one life, but if she's about to be killed by a Titan, protect her, Levi." Erwin looked down at him with a serious look in his eyes.

Levi looked at him. "Is that an order?" He asked.

Erwin didn't have to ask Levi. Already planned to save Aurora's sorry ass if she couldn't protect her own damn self.

A low chuckle passed the commanders lips and he gave Levi a dark look. "Take it as whatever you want, Levi. But I do ask you to protect her… She is my child after all, but I can't be there with her all the time to protect her." He stated.

Levi nodded. "Right." He didn't say anymore.

Erwin pulled his hand back. "Good." He heard thunder and he looked out the window. "It seems like it's going to rain all day…" Erwin commented.

"It seems so…" Levi replied, his fingertip running around the rim of his glass.

Erwin noticed Levi was deep in thought. Even though he didn't show, he could tell anyway by the way his finger traced the cup.

"Good day, Levi. Enjoy your day off." Erwin said.

Levi didn't look or reply to him. He didn't even hear him leave till after the door clicked behind Erwin. The captain lifted his head to look at the door and a sigh left his lips.

What was Aurora to him? He didn't understand, but he hated how he couldn't find the answer to his own question.

Levi huffed and he stared out the window, wishing he had another cup of tea.

* * *

**I am so sorry for not updating in what, a month!? So so so sorry. I've been working two jobs, trying to handle school, and now my fiance possibly has cancer... :( Yeah... I took him to the ER two weeks ago and they said he possibly has lymphoma. We've been going back and forth in the hospital, and he got his biopsy yesterday. He's supposed to find out the results Monday-hopefully. **

**Again, I'm sorry for the late update. :( But please continue to cheer on for me in the reviews! I need all the cheering I can. The more reviews I get, the quicker I will want to update. ^^**


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